Out of the blue

Jon and I have been married for 8 1/2 years and have wanted a baby for a very long time.  I really thought this dream would never happen for us.  I mean, we were one of the few couples amongst our friends, maybe the only, who still didn't have children.  Some people had no idea about my inability to have biological children, others have known for years.  I told Jon shortly before we decided to marry.  I knew he loved me, but it would be a lie if I said telling him was easy.  Jon, as many of you know, is awesome.  Ok...I may be partial...but really, he is.  So, after I managed to spit it out he was so supportive and told me it was fine, we would adopt.  Tears come to my eyes, even now, just thinking about how great he was about it.  He even sent me flowers the next day just to reassure me that it didn't matter.

We had looked into adopting while we were stationed overseas but it seemed incredibly difficult.  So, we decided we would start the process as soon as we made it back the the US.  We have been so fortunate.  We have gotten every base we have put as our top choice, this time was no different.  So, we land in Utah and while we were in temporary housing I began looking into adopting.  We hadn't even closed on our house and I was so anxious to get the adoption ball rolling.  Jon would shake his head and smile...and tell me we should probably have a house before we adopt a baby.  So I waited.  I took more classes to get the pre-requisites for Nursing taken care of but I was still worried we would let the possibility of parenthood pass us by.
In the middle of November I get a call from Brandi about a possible adoption.  For a few weeks it really looked good.  The birth mom and I were talking, we were trying to get a home study and a lawyer, and then it all went bad.  The birth father wasn't 18 and neither him nor his family had any interest in signing off on the adoption.  By the time that potential adoption fell through we realized we didn't want to wait any longer.  So we started the process.  The next potential situation came before our home study was even finished but it also fell through.  With each situation I would say, "What is meant to be will be" though.  I prayed each night.  I knew God has a plan for us, when the right baby came into the picture, it would happen.  I didn't ask for each baby that came into the picture, I knew we would have the boy or girl that we were meant to have.  Then there was a third situation, a one year old girl, but the birth mother didn't go through with it, didn't even call the agency back to say she changed her mind.  By this time I was discouraged to say the least.  A week after the little girl fell through, I get the call.  Lisa tells me she is on her way to pick up a birth mom and a 6 week old baby boy.  Plus, the birth father was on board and coming down.  I was so excited but I was so scared too.  I thought she would call back and say the mom didn't meet up with her or the dad said no.  I just knew this was too good to be true.  Birth fathers rarely sign the relinquishment, which means the adoption is high risk.  The birth father not signing means you could be placed with a child and he could fight you for custody.  Both birth parents on board is the best situation.  Lisa calls me and says to get pictures together of us and write a letter so the birth parents could look at it and decide...they wanted to see another couples profile too.  Oh man...so what if they see us, read our letter, and choose the other couple.  I was going crazy at this point.  I was calling Brandi like a mad woman.  Jon was much more calm, he was excited, but he is a better "waiter".  I didn't want to tell anyone because what if it didn't happen, it's just so hard when you want a baby, have hope, and then the hope is crushed .  So it just had to be Brandi, Jon, and me in the know.  Which was fine but I did feel a bit bad for calling Brandi at 1 in the morning on a school night because I was so excited.  She wanted to be called but it must have been hard to teach all day after such a late night.  (Love you Brandi)

Back to baby boy...Lisa calls and says the birth parents chose us and we may be going to meet them later that night.  WHAT????? REALLY???? Oh my goodness!!! Was she serious?  I mean I was all for it, but I woke up this morning with no idea of how this day eventually played out.  So I put down the dinner we were casually eating, called Brandi again.  I was again excited and scared.  What if they didn't like us?  I got a pep talk from Brandi, she told me to be myself and it would be fine.  I just want to make sure that when we meet the birth parents they knew how grateful we were to be chosen and that I knew that through our happiness came their sadness.  It still chokes me up.  What a completely selfless decision.   I can't even imagine how difficult their decision must have been.  Talk about the ultimate sacrifice.  To hand over your child, a child that you love unconditionally, because you want them to have a life you can't give them...WOW...how can I even express my feelings about that?  I feel so humbled that they chose us.  The next call we get tells us to come over to meet birth mom, birth dad, and baby Gabriel.

We couldn't get to Robin's fast enough.  I was so nervous but it was surreal at the same time.  I mean, I may be a mom tomorrow...SERIOUSLY???!!!  We get to the door and meet Tim (BF) first, he looks so young...I mean, he is so young, but he looks sooo young.  He is so polite though.  He comes up to shake our hand and introduce himself then tells us that Tauni (BM) is changing Gabriel in the back.  A few minutes later out comes Tauni with Gabe.  She looks so young too and he is perfect.  PERFECT!  100% worth waiting for.  Tauni immediately asks me if I want to hold him.  Heck yeah!  We all sit down.  Tim and Jon were sitting back taking it all in and Tauni had tons of questions that I was trying to answer as fully as possible.  The whole time I am just thinking how evident it is that they love Gabe so much.  They tell us all about him, what he likes, what he doesn't, all of his little quirks, what his faces mean...everything they can think of...you can just tell Tauni is running it all through her mind to make sure I know everything she knows.  We talked for awhile, they learned about us, we learned about them.  I swear, Gabe's birth parents were like Jon and Melissa the 18 year old version.  It was crazy the similarities.  Especially to see them relate to each other.  You could see how Tim adored Tauni and vice versa.  They wanted to take Gabriel overnight so we would pick him up in the morning.  Of course we completely understood why.  Everything happened so fast.  They are giving this little angel, the most important thing in their world, over to us.  We both felt very good after meeting them, I just hoped they felt as good about us as we did them.  I think I got 2 hours of sleep Wednesday night.